It’s been a LONG week…

Wow… it has been an incredibly long week… Has it really only been a week?  Wow…

Last Thursday night Amandya was really unhappy with her friends.  People weren’t listening to her when she asked them to not do things and to just let well enough alone.   Of course, no one would.  That is what friends are for… to make what is perfectly okay with everyone “better” .  Sometimes the electronic age leaves a lot to be desired.  You can get all of the information you don’t really want in less than a heartbeat.  And when you are a teenage girl… you have to read and follow up.

Unfortunately she didn’t wake me to talk.  She didn’t turn to the person across the country that she turns to to talk.  She decided that with the pain of her life and the pain of her friends helping that physical pain would help take away the stress.  So now she has cut marks on her arms that look like a bear claw got her.

I didn’t now about it until I was at work on Friday.  Oh yeah, I’m beating myself up for that… How did I find out?  She asked if you could get blood out of her fingerless gloves and her hoody.  Why?  I kind of scratched myself last night and it is kind of starting to bleed again…

She has scratched her skin before.  There were scratch marks like might be made by a blackberry bush.  So I figured she did the same thing again.  Not so much.  This time (had I found out about what they were really like earlier in the process) one might have been a candidate for a couple stitches.  Of course, by the time I actually found out, it was after school and I was picking her up.  I must say I didn’t react well.  I didn’t go nutsy on her.  She would have been mortified had I started yelling at her.  Unfortunately she took my reaction even worse.  I just sat down and tried not to cry.  Yeah… I’m a great parent… no one but her knew but she did and she was upset that she upset me.

Took her home and cleaned the cuts.  Put butterflies on them.  Yeah, that didn’t work.  Tried Liquid Bandage… DO NOT put this crap on an open wound!!!  It apparently hurts a 97 on a scale of 1 to 10.  I have to admit, when I got a blister Sunday by taking out my stress on the hedges, I got a blister that broke itself and I put the stuff on it… it does hurt a 97.  It is probably good for what it is good for… new wounds, not so much.

I did call Neurologist to get his input and the Psychologist that big brother saw several years ago to see if he could talk to her (something told me she was playing it all down and she has been in this moody spiral since her diagnosis).  She was pretty not happy with my calling Psychologist.  now I’m glad I did.  Neurologist had us come in on Tuesday to see him (I was able to tell him that not only did we have an appt with the counselor but by Tuesday that we had seen him).

She is less angry with the psychologist, although she talks to a counselor of sorts of her own.  He isn’t licensed yet, but he is working on it and he seems to be helping her a lot (okay… via text messages… but he is helping her).

Neurologist prescribed lamictal xr.  Guess what costs $400 a month and isn’t on the insurance company’s formulary!   So we are trying lamictal regular.  This is an anti-seizure medicine as well as a mild anti-depressant.  Hopefully it will help.  He gave us a list of psychiatrists (because they can help regulate the meds and watch what the meds are doing where the psychologist can’t).  Of the list of suggested psychiatrists (there were 20 on the list) three are on our insurance company’s list of in network doctors.  One is taking new people but you have to get papers filled out by every doctor you have seen in the last year, fill out 100 pages of information, and get an ekg and several blood tests before he will see you.  Fortunately the first appointment we can get with him is mid october.  The osteopath that I would have loved to have gone to isn’t taking new patients at all.  The third might be taking new patients in October maybe kind of but they have a 60 patient waiting list for that October window… leave you name and number and we will MAYBE get back to you about an appointment.

Of the others, several are pediatric and teen centered.  They are maybe going to be taking new patients in October or November.

Of course if she actually tries to kill herself, or hurt other people, then she can be hospitalized (I have to have pre-approval to have inpatient care… WHAT?) and then she can see someone… probably.  But if she isn’t a danger to anyone… she can wait a few months to get help or deteriorate in her depression to the point where she does… then she can be hospitalized and THEN she can get help.


On the up side of the week (there actually is an up side…) last night I managed to be my methotrexate medicated butt out of bed to watch the fireworks at the ball park (I love where our back yard is… from the back porch you have a great view of the fireworks every friday home game) and Amandya came out to talk.  She told me that she was angry.  Angry is a good change… particularly when she is angry about this… what is she angry about?  There are diabetes commercials (meters, medical supplies, places to help with meal planning and insurance).  There are breast cancer commercials (the big walks, the races, informational… lots of them).  There are even occasional rheumatoid arthritis commercials (sympony drugs).

The anger?

There are no commercials about epilepsy.  Nothing to teach people what it is and what it isn’t.  Nothing about meds.  Nothing about events.  Nothing about anything.

we are getting there.  baby steps, but we are getting there.

And she enjoyed Physical Training (running, calisthenics) Thursday where she wasn’t feeling like even trying to do anything when she was so dizzy from the just keppra, so maybe the lamictal is helping some.  or maybe it is the added vitamin b6.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kaitlins Cauze
    Sep 04, 2010 @ 06:55:16

    You and Amandya are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. Perhaps Amandya can get with the Epilepsy Foundation and light the fire for commercials. I’m here if you want to talk, scream, or cry.


  2. Trackback: Wonderful Change in the Weather… « A Figment Of Fitness

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: